New Program for Inter-Faith Families at the JCC

With the rising numbers of interfaith marriages and blended families in America, a growing segment of the female population is finding themselves in a unique situation: how to raise Jewish children when they, themselves, are not Jewish. “Mothers Circle,” a new series starting October 5 at the Wilf Jewish Community Campus in Scotch Plains, offers educational resources, support, and practical solutions.

The free program is open to all non-Jewish mothers, whether or not they are affiliated with the JCC, local synagogues, or any other Jewish organization. The series will meet every three weeks and provide information about Jewish life cycle events, holidays, and ethics and values. It is intended to be an interactive, hands-on, “how-to” program and offer participants a chance to get together, support each other, and figure out the joys and challenges of raising a child who’s in a religion that’s not their own. Complimentary child care is available upon request.

“Most often, the responsibilities of teaching about religion and making a home falls on the mom,” explained Leslie Klieger, J Connection director and facilitator of the series. “Sometimes there are situations where moms who are not Jewish are tasked with raising Jewish children. These women are doing an amazing thing by choosing to raise a child in a religion that’s not their own. This can be a challenge and sometimes a sacrifice. We in the Jewish community feel that we owe them one, and we appreciate what they’re doing. The Mothers Circle series will hopefully help make things easier for them and put them in touch with others who can support them.”

This is the first program of its kind at the Scotch Plains site and is sponsored by J Connection, a partnership between the Jewish Community Center of Central New Jersey and local synagogues, which is funded by a grant from the Jewish Community Foundation of the Jewish Federation of Central New Jersey. The basic concept and supporting materials for the series were created by the Jewish Outreach Institute, which runs the program nation-wide to meet the needs of an estimated 200,000 women who married into Judaism and are raising Jewish children in the United States.

Jen Scharf is a Watchung resident and mother of three who signed up the program. Scharf, who is Episcopalian, and her husband, who is Jewish, are raising their children Jewish. Scharf hopes to learn more about the culture and to meet others who are going through the same child-rearing experiences she is.

“My husband and I have already decided that our children will be raised as Jews,”  Scharf said. “When our children were born, I would turn to my husband for advice on what to do, and he sometimes didn’t know and couldn’t always help me. My husband came from a Jewish home, and his mother knew everything and did everything. My mother-in-law lives in Florida, so she’s not local. I’ve read books like Judaism for Dummies and kind of had to learn things by myself. I don’t know everything off the cuff, and sometimes I get nervous that I’m not doing it right. Do we light candles? Do we not light candles? It’s things like that. I’m always looking to hear new ideas from people and find out what their situation is.”

According to Klieger, Mothers Circle is not intended to convert women to Judaism.

“There’s no push for program participants to convert,” Klieger assured. “This is not about making them Jews. We respect their decision, and we want to help them in their choices. Likewise, the Mothers Circle program is only for non-Jewish mothers of Jewish children. Once you’ve converted, you’re in a different situation. There are a separate set of challenges that might not necessarily be the same, so we do not want to mix it up.”

“I’m interested to talk to other moms, because I don’t find that many other women are in my situation,” Scharf said. “Yes, they might be married to a man who’s Jewish, but they haven’t established how they’re raising their children yet. I really haven’t met anyone else in the same situation yet. I’m looking forward to meeting other mothers who are in the same boat as me.”

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Wilf Jewish Community Campus

1391 Martine Avenue, Scotch Plains

"Mothers Circle” series begins October 5 at 9:30 am.

For more information and to register, contact Leslie Klieger at 908-889-8800 ext. 259 or lklieger@jccnnj.org.

Complimentary child care available upon request.