It's perhaps unfortunate that the entire island nation of New Zealand has a twee filter, but when they insist on exporting stuff like this how can that be helped?  (Princess Chelsea - The Cigarette Duet)

This quirky confection came to mind when I saw a picture of thus oversized coffee-cup looking hot tub.

My boys have been campaigning for a back yard hot tub (and a fire pit and a dog; but those are separate dramas) and it makes my mind take crazy trips down rabbit holes of parental what-ifs?  

And the world is already deconstructing and reconstructing like a dream sequence from Inception faster than I can keep up already....

Safety and just simple strangeness aside, let's hot tub time machine fast-forward 8 or so years when all the lovely princess-crazed little girls on the block transform into boy hungry bikini killers.  

And I have to assume my now 3 year old will actually no longer be wearing a diaper (and be only too happy to show them) and my 7 year old may have some interest . . . especially of they like his bike.

I'll never be able to leave them in the house alone. Even if there is no hot tub. Especially if there is a fire pit.  Even worse if they get the 'shed for boy things' they've been palavering about.  "Hi, want to see my Jedi Path?"  Oh, um.  Jeez.

When you decide to move to a nice suburban hood, you think I want a nice quiet street with lots of kids WHO ARE GOING TO GROW UP TO HAVE SEX IN YOUR HOT TUB, TRASH YOUR HOUSE AND DRINK ALL YOUR ALCOHOL!

I'm starting to think I need to have a sex talk with them today after school as well as prophylactically start stocking up on prophylactics which will (with any luck) have long since expired once they've any need for them.  And continue the talk about how girls can be your friends and so on and so on...

But, I won't.  

I was that age once.  I smoked cigarettes and did maybe one or two other reckless things.  I was boy crazy.  I stayed out too late.  And I'm turning out alright.  I'm not entirely sure why, but I never had a hot tub or a fire pit in my backyard so that could be a start.   I did have a dog, tho.  Hmm.

It's all making changing my 3 year old's diapers seem like the glory days.