How Does Your Teen Feel When He/She Looks in the Mirror?
If you are not visiting your teen’s FB page, Twitter account and Formspring profile, you may not know what your teen is feeling….
How are you parenting your teen? What are your strategies? Where do you get your parenting advice and information?
Studies show that most parents use a parenting style based on either the “likes” or “dislikes” of how they were raised by their own parents. But there was no internet when our parents were parenting…there was no cyberbullying….
Check out this article (http://montgomery.patch.com/articles/kendall-justice-council-hosts-seminar-on-bullying)
Oswego Police Sergeant Jason Bastin was talking with parents about what he sees. He says, cyberbullying is an issue our children face every day! “The internet is a good tool, but only if used properly.”
All too often those tools are being misused. “Cyber bullying is all encompassing,” Bastin said. “It becomes their reality. When someone says something negative about them, it shatters their whole world.”
Look again at the picture of the girl…
· Forty-two percent of kids have been bullied online.
· Thirty-five percent have been threatened.
· Twenty-one percent have received mean or threatening emails.
I was sitting at my son’s lacrosse game on Sunday and I asked the mom sitting next to me if she goes on her teens’ Facebook pages. She has a daughter in 11th grade and a son in 8th grade. She said, “They are older now, I don’t need to check.” I think most parents believe their kids would never do something to hurt others. And most kids wouldn’t. At least intentionally…
So, whose kids are being hurt?? Whose kids are being threatened???
Who is the 42%??
Jill Brown
Generationtextonline.com
itsmylocker.com
Generationtextonline.wordpress.com
Scott Farkas
7:58 pm on Thursday, April 26, 2012
Bullying goes on in elementary, middle, and high schools. It goes on in. college and even in business. It happens in the drama club on sports teams on the playground and in backyards. Is cheating on your high scool boyfriend a form of bullying? What about spousal infidelity? Where does it stop? Why has this become such a hot topic? Because of social media? Liberals were able to get dodgeball eliminated from gym class because of the idea that hitting someone with a ball that wasn't agile or athletic enough to dodge the ball was somehow now a victim. The author of this piece mentioned Oswego. I will assume it is Oswego NY. You can't compare the economical and social climate of Oswego with Westfield.
Jill Brown
11:25 am on Saturday, April 28, 2012
Hi Scott,
Thanks for your thoughts. You are right, bullying goes on at every age and in many different aspects of our lives. When I wrote, who is the 42%, my intention was to encourage a parent who was reading this article to check their child’s online activity. To answer your question about why it has become such a hot topic...from what I have seen when working in schools, because the effects of what the victim goes though when the bullying is done online is of such great magnitude, kids are turning to suicide and cutting to deal with their pain. This is something we need to address as parents. Most kids I talk with kids don’t feel comfortable telling their parents or an adult at school when they are going through this pain. I was referencing the article in the Montgomery, Illinois patch when I spoke of Oswego. It is Oswego, IL. I was not comparing the economic and social climate with Westfield; I was just sharing a thought from someone in law enforcement who understands what teens are going through on line due to cyberbullying. Thanks again for commenting and getting this very important conversation going! Jill Brown
Monk
8:50 pm on Thursday, April 26, 2012
The so-called social media that is ostensibly supposed to connect us is better at isolating and alienating us.
Jay
10:01 am on Friday, April 27, 2012
I take issue with Jill's predicate premise that a "teen" should even HAVE a A FB, Twitter or Formspring profile. The teen whose brain is intellectually and psychologically mature enough to handle that social overload is rare indeed.
Similarly, my teen's cell phone has no internet, games or anything other than what it needs to function as the intra-family communication TOOL it is supposed to be. Her text permissions are very limited and had we been able to find a decent phone without photo capacity, we would have skipped that little privacy invader, as well.
Just because the loudest bleeting sheep in this town seem hell-bent on spoiling their lambs does not mean the rest must follow the flock over this precipice. In speaking to other parents, there are PLENTY of us that agree teens are simply not ready to handle this modern mass experiment of social media overload.
The human brain simply does not evolve that fast. We have not yet adapted to this new technology.
It comes back to the old saw: Just because you CAN do something, does not mean your SHOULD!
Jill Brown
11:32 am on Saturday, April 28, 2012
Hi Jay,
Thanks so much for your comments. I am sorry if there was any misinterpretation about my thoughts on a teen having a FB, Twitter or Formspring. First I applaud you for being the kind of parent that has made decisions in their family that are right for your family. I wish all parents would do as you do. There are thousands of teens going through incredible pain due to mean, negative and hurtful comments posted online about them. My intentions of this article were to present a different angle that might encourage parents to think about why it is important to check their child's online activity. Thank you again for your thoughts and contributing to this very important topic. Jill Brown
Local Parent
2:44 pm on Friday, April 27, 2012
Why does Jill Brown reference out of state schools as a resource as if it applies here in Westfield? Jill, do your credentials in this area of issues experienced by teens include any seminars done for the parents and teens of the Westfield School system? You've been featured on the Patch and on network news but yet I've seen nothing about your relationship with our local school board and any interest they might have in your expertise. Why is that?
NR9
3:08 pm on Friday, April 27, 2012
Local Parent: "I've seen nothing about your relationship with our local school board and any interest they might have in your expertise. Why is that?"
Response: Why should that matter? Plenty of people live in a particular town and sell their services in numerous towns other than the one in which they live. Why should this matter to anyone except the parties involved... the service provider and the buyer(s)? If a company manufactures a product and their customers are all over the state/country, but not in the town where the factory is located, why should that matter to anybody?
JERSEY GIRL
12:30 pm on Thursday, May 3, 2012
I would feel better taking advise from someone educated in the field of Psychology/Sociology.
Dana Karp
2:56 pm on Thursday, May 3, 2012
Jersey Girl, let's try to bring this questioning about Ms. Brown to a head. I actually believe that Ms. Brown has made herself into an expert in the field of dealing with technology and children. In my opinion, given the content of Ms. Browns blogs, whether she possesses the formal education in pshychology or sociology appears to be moot. Her articles and replies are very high-level suggestions that can be either taken...or not. I think the real issue with Ms. Brown has more to do with her on a personnal level within the community. Some find her helpful, while other thinks she's all about making a buck. But for whatever reason, Ms. Brown is a polarizing personality who people either like or dislike. I think it's unforunate that this comes into play with many of the comments posted on her blogs...however such is the world we live in. While I don't believe any of these remarks fall under the category of bullying, I do find it ironic that how she responds to disparging remarks are an example of how to deal with these situations. I believe Ms. Brown would be the first to admit how fortunate she is to be equipped with the tools to handle this.