Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of this week's reports: Over the Woods and Through the River?That's pretty close to the course charted by a Long Valley woman who was arrested after allegedly trying to steal two farm vehiclesbelonging to Ort Farms. The woman was confronted by farm staff during the attempted theft, and fled the scene by crossing the South Branch of the Raritan River, police said. Multiple police departments set up a …

Each Monday, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of this week's reports: Cleanup, Aisle 9: If you're a frequent shoplifter, you're probably pretty cynical about loss prevention specialists and other store employees. You're a pro. Ain't no rent-a-cop gonna slow you down. But you probably aren't quite as cocky when you run into the real, badge-possessing deal, are you? Toms River police said one shoplifter had the misfortune of crossing paths with an off-…

Each Monday, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of the reports from this past week: That's One Way to Avoid a Parking Ticket: Just not a very good way. Belleville police say they're looking for the men who stole the change from a parking meter ... while it was still in the meter. They reportedly took the whole meter and placed it in a beige hatchback. Police weren't able to provide much of a specific description, but if you see a couple of guys lugging…

We all remember this one from science class, right? "An object in motion will stay in motion, unless another force acts upon it." Ever wonder what Mr. Smartypants Science Teacher meant by "another force?" He might have meant "that thing that happens when you try to squeeze a too-tall truck through a too-small bridge." We think that's the technical definition. We'll look it up later. South Orange Police say a truck driver (or his company) apparently hadn't done their route-planning homework, as the driver tried to get his 13-foot truck under a bridge that wasn't quite 12-feet tall. Ultimately…

Many of New Jersey's police departments do fine, thorough, painstaking work. But that can get exhausting, so they've got to appreciate when alleged criminals don't even try to fly under the radar. They probably appreciate it a little less when someone tries to fly off a bridge, however. Each Monday, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." This week, we're paying particular attention to reports of people who, well, the cops would have a had a hard time missing In…

This arrest was pretty sweet. And that's pretty much the only pun or knowingly bad joke we haven't made already about a report from Collingswood Patch that police may have finally caught an infamous doughnut dumper. (Seriously – our original article has everything from "that's crumby" to police finding the suspect's account "full of holes.") Locals had been trying to figure out for some time who was dropping off delicious debris at Newton Lake. So local cops went on a two-day stakeout to see where the doughnuts were coming from. (Yes, we know. Doughnuts and cops. We already beat you to that…

Three times is sometimes a charm. In the case of one Galloway man, it was apparently the opposite. And it all happened in the aftermath of a hurricane. Michael Bell Jr., 38, received multiple charges after allegedly causing three separate accidents on the same night in one hour, according to police. Luckily, in each of the first two accidents none of the victims was hurt, police said. However, as the descriptions piled up, the third accident (only involving the alleged perpetrator) led to the man's arrest for all three—and possession of suspected heroin. Each Monday, Patch takes a peek at …

Sometimes, police really have their work cut out for them at a crime scene. They've got to canvass for witnesses. They've got to collect fingerprints, fibers and hairs. They've got to look for the slightest signs of disturbance, any subtle clues that might track back to the bad guy. And sometimes, the bad guy just makes things easy for them. That's what Madison police say happened when they were investigating a robbery at an office. They found one particularly helpful piece of evidence – the alleged burglar's wallet. We know the folks at American Express like to tell people "Don't leave home …

It's been kind of a slow week. No, really. With Patch serving nearly 100 communities throughout New Jersey, we don't usually have much trouble finding some seriously jaw-drop-worthy (if not head-smack-worthy) incidents each Monday to feature in our "OMGs from NJ PDs." There are many things you can call New Jersey's criminal element, but "graceful" isn't one of them, which gives us plenty of fodder. There was that time we told you about the guy police say shoved $100-worth of razors down his pants. Or the woman who, police say, refused to pull up her own pants. We like anything involving pants…

As the song goes, if you like it then you should have put an egg on it. That is the lyric, right? No? Then what on earth was this guy thinking? South Brunswick police say things went a little rotten when a ... let's call him an enthusiastic fan... just wouldn't stay away from a mobile home park where Beyonce was shooting a new music video. The man was first asked to leave the set of the video by the mobile home community's staff after he was yelling and acting out, police said. They said he appeared intoxicated, but friends agreed to drive him home. "At first he was yelling that he wanted to …

Cops say this crime had Andrea Bove's name written all over it. No, really. They literally mean his name was written on the evidence. While patrolling the old Essex County Hospital Center on Fairview Avenue in Cedar Grove, officers noticed an open door and investigated further, police said. Working with the Essex County Sheriff's Department, they found two lengths of freshly-cut copper pipe and a bucket of tools nearby, police said. Officers were getting ready to search the rest of the building when two men emerged from a wooded area nearby, police said. Both readily admitted removing the …

You think you've been hot and uncomfortable this past week? Just be glad you're not covered with fur. The heat apparently proved too much to bear for one, well, bear, as a Dana Strus of North Caldwell learned. She looked out her window Tuesday and saw a black bear in her yard splashing around in her pool. The mother of one (with another on the way) did what one does in 2011 when something odd happens – she stepped out onto the patio to photograph and film her new friend, Fozzie (and, lucky us, she was kind enough to share the video with Patch). We can only imagine that 20 minutes later, the …

It seems we need one of two things: smaller trucks or larger overpasses. At least, that appears to be the case in Chatham Borough, where too-tall trucks have developed a habit of trying to squeeze through too-small spaces – one in particular. Last week, Chatham Borough Police reported that a truck suffered extensive damage after its driver tried to cross under a train overpass on Watchung Avenue. That tidbit, however, probably didn't feel like news to many people in Chatham. After all, back in mid-May, Chatham Patch ran a similar article: Truck Strikes Watchung Avenue Overpass. And just a few…

Somebody did something bad to someone else who was sort of related to the first guy, but maybe not. That's about as far as our brains got when trying to make sense of a case where a 25-year-old Deptford man pleaded guilty to attacking someone else with a knife at a baby shower. In his plea, the man said the victim “was beating up on my little sister and a fight broke out” – a fight that led to the victim receiving a chest laceration, a broken rib and a collapsed lung. OK. We're following it so far. But the next few details, courtesy of West Deptford Patch, had us struggling to understand the …

We're just glad Patch isn't delivered in trucks. It means we can avoid this sort of stuff. A Clementon Borough man was charged recently with stealing a newspaper delivery truck from a Wawa store in Gloucester Township. When officers watched him pull away from his own home in the truck, police said, they pulled him over. The man then allegedly attempted to run over a railroad embankment, nearly striking police officers and crashing into an unmarked Gloucester Township Police vehicle occupied by two detectives. The truck nearly rolled over onto its side, according to police. One thing was clear…

If a Woodbridge man did everything police said he did, he was just asking to get in trouble. Really, really asking for it. According to East Windsor police, the man first caught their attention when he called 911 to say a large building was going to be destroyed – a bogus claim. He was quickly identified and arrested, police said. After his release, he next appeared at a bank. According to Marc LeMieux, director of major crimes at the Monmouth County Prosecutor’s Office: “He said, ‘Nobody move,’ so everyone looks at him, everyone stops. Somebody starts to move and he says, ‘I said, nobody …

There are easier ways to get into a woman's hotel room. From a recent story in Toms River Patch: "Toms River Police are investigating how or why a car entered the Holiday Inn at 290 Route 37 early Sunday morning." (We're guessing pressure to the gas pedal had something to do with it.) Police said a 19-year-old staying at the hotel after a prom was sitting in a parked 1999 Mercedes Benz, then crashed it through a window into a room where a 77-year-old woman was sleeping. The woman was trapped between the car and a wall for 20 minutes, until fire department members could rescue her, police said…

This one takes the (pan)cake. Police say two men dined and dashed from an IHOP in Fair Lawn, striking a restaurant manager with their car as they fled. At least, technically, it was two men, police say. The driver of the car, police said, was dressed as a woman. He (or, if he prefers, she) was reportedly in a T-shirt, a black-hooded sweatshirt and, we swear the police account says this, "stretchy pants." This is, of course, unacceptable for two reasons. For one, it's wrong to steal and to assault people. Second, Have you seen the calorie counts at IHOP? No one should consider wearing stretchy…

Everyone knows smoking real pot can get you in trouble with the law. But apparently, smoking the fake stuff can get you in trouble with your landscaper. At least, that's what we imagine might have happened to two men South Brunswick Police met recently. The Kendall Park pair called 911 to say they were in need of help after smoking an herbal blend called K2, often described as "synthetic cannabis." The Drug Enforcement Agency has been closely investigating synthetic cannabis and several states have already banned its usage. From South Brunswick Patch's report: "According to police, one of the…

Usually, libraries like to see families participate in their activities. But the Montclair Public Library probably would have taken a pass on the family fun last Tuesday. Police in Montclair said they arrested three juveniles who were becoming disruptive. But things got really out of hand, police say, when one of the teens' mothers showed up on the scene, none too happy her child was about to be taken away in handcuffs. A few key lines from Montclair Patch's report on the incident:  [The mother allegedly] became enraged and leapt toward one of the officers, attempting to push him out of the …