An email that tears apart 11-12 year kids from the Scotch Plains Fanwood President

This is an email written in reference to and about a group of kids that the President of the league barely knew when he named himself as coach of this travel team . I find it to be quite disturbing as he claims to LOVE the game of baseball, yet he does not have the capacity to deal with young children. This email sounds like it is written about a group of thugs when in fact they are great , passionate kids.
This was a 3 page email. It follows:

From: Neil Kaufman

  I don't think we're a particularly strong team at this point, based on what I've seen out of these kids so far.  Not particularly important to me, because I'm about teaching kids to play ball.  But I know there is a natural tendency for every parent to feel their child is very special, and perhaps even that they are destined for baseball greatness.  Unfortunately - and I apologize in advance if anyone finds this offensive - but I don't think we really have that situation on this team at this particular point in time.  I'm rapidly becoming acquainted with the players on the team and how they interact together.  In just the small handful of pratices and games that we've had, I've experienced:

•  of you know me and my coaching style, others of you don't and your kids are experiencing my style for the first time.  I have a great love for this game, and also what I humbly believe is a great understanding of the game to a fairly high level, and certainly relative to this age group.  Understand that I am not about winning and losing, in fact I just got done telling the kids that I don't care whether they win a single game this fall.  And I am totally serious about that.  Especially since I don't think we're a particularly strong team at this point, based on what I've seen out of these kids so far.  Not particularly important to me, because I'm about teaching kids to play ball.  But I know there is a natural tendency for every parent to feel their child is very special, and perhaps even that they are destined for baseball greatness.  Unfortunately - and I apologize in advance if anyone finds this offensive - but I don't think we really have that situation on this team at this particular point in time.  I'm rapidly becoming acquainted with the players on the team and how they interact together.  In just the small handful of pratices and games that we've had, I've experienced:

  • Constant clowning around in practice, even when asked to stop - which translates to the same kind of play in games... quite apparent if you've watched either of our 2 games.  Not to mention tons of wasted valuable practice time...
  • Disrespect for and talking back to the coaches.
  • Emotional outbursts, crying, and tantrums.
  • Verbal attacks and demeaning of their own teammates.
  • Throwing equipment, sometimes in the very close vicinity of their own teammates... and therefore potentially risking injury to a teammate, besides the unsportsmanlike nature of the behavior itself.
  • Kids yelling directly at adult umpires, in some cases threatened with ejection.
  • General laziness, lack of hustle resulting in flubbed easy plays and forgetting (and indifference for) simple things like which base to throw the ball to, or to cover.

  This is all very difficult to watch and be involved with, and frankly translates into a losing recipe and disrespect for the game... not to mention, these are 11 & 12 year old kids.  I say this not to insult your kids.  The fact is however that they all know better, and none of this behavior is helpful to a baseball learning environment.  It doesn't contribute to success/winning, it's disrespectful, and most importantly to me... it's not fun.  And we've only played 2 games.  Today we had an intersquad scrimmage and it was once again fairly pathetic.  My attempts to 'befriend' and gently coerce some of the kids with humor to 'see the light' and participate in a focused and respectful manner, and hustle, aren't working.  I introduced some tougher talk in an attempt to wake them up.  But no luck.  It's kind of a shock to me and my ego, because I think it's a first for me that I haven't been able to bring them around.  Maybe it's their age, or maybe it's that many of them feel they already know all they need to know... which would explain the indifference and disregard for the directives of the coaches from some of them.  OR there's the possibility that it could be me just being a lousy coach.  Regardless, I don't like to fail, and I'm not going to give up on the kids... so I will be seeing this through. 

I will be changing my own attitude over the next practices and games a bit to reflect what I think is needed here.  I think some leadership is needed, and I intend to provide it.  Some of the kids will follow, others will not.  Some will get it, catch on and come along for the ride.  Others may enjoy it less, or even be miserable.  I apologize for that in advance.  However I feel strongly that this change is needed for ALL of the kids on the team, especially the ones who have the right attitude, came to learn, are willing to focus, and are willing to be good teammates first and foremost.  That is what being a team player is about, and those kids deserve it.  SO I will be rewarding those who are following instructions, who hold their tongues from the clowning remarks, who follow the coaches instructions, encourage their teammates ALL the time, who hustle in and out every inning ALL the time...  and frankly, do as they are told.  And those who don't, will be left with less playing time, and probably not at their most desired positions.  In my experience, those with bad attitudes never go far in this sport anyway, even those blessed with physical talent.  It's not enough, unless you're Barry Bonds... (but trust me on this... Barry is definitely not on this team).  The best players are the ones whose heads are right, constantly working on themselves rather than thinking and acting like they know it all.  They do what's best for the team rather than for themselves.  They enhance the play of their teammates rather than demean their teammates, call them names, etc. just because they think they are better... They may not have right-field as their top choice of positions to play, but when they are asked to play it they noticably play the position to the best of their ability...  And they always display a respect for the game and their coaches who offer their time and experience for their benefit, as opposed to ignoring their directives and displaying an indifference to any advice.  It's actually somewhat humorous to, at the end of practice, receive a handshake and 'Thanks, Coach" from a kid who obviously has had 'manners training' by their baseball-loving parents, but really was nothing more than a disruption during practice..

SO I'm done with saying my piece.  I wanted to give you the heads up, just in case your son comes back to you with stories of being sidelined, "the coach has it in for me", or "the coach plays favorites", or "the coach won't give me a chance"... I give plenty of chances.  But I wanted you to know in advance that I do intend to change things, regardless of what that means for playing time, fielding positions, batting order, etc.  Note that as I have told the kids, I will gladly share the reasons for why I do things if I am questioned respectfully.  But I will be putting a stop to this behavior in the best way I know how.  I have always enjoyed watching all your kids play, grow up and excel in SPFYBA.  But I think we've reached a tipping point for this particular team at this particular time... Every impulse I have tells me the thing to do is to establish the way things need to be and stick with it... even if we go 0-10 in league play, I will feel it was worthwhile if the kids who truly have the right attitude and desire are able to develop noticably as ballplayers this fall...   

In conclusion, my hope is that all the kids will 'see the light' and jump into line.  I do understand that they are just kids, and the negative behaviors I've described do not apply to everyone.  But it's definitely 1/2 the team to one degree or another.  I also understand what our independent summer 'A' managers are looking for, and I assure you it's not the some of these behaviors I've witnessed over the last few weeks.   No coach wants a group of know-it-all brats on their team.  And that goes double for the middle school program coaches, much less the high school.  I'm not naive enough to think I'll have the 'magic touch' with the entire team.  But I will be committed to those that are committed, are good teammates first, and therefore worthy in my view.  To me, those are the 'ballplayers' in the group and they deserve to have fun playing and learning the game.